Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
