he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
