So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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