Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize