ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
