Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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