A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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