We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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