i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
