Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
