I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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