And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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