This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
