Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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