Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize