So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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