I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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