It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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