Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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