Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
