She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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