I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
