remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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