How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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