On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
