He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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