hotel room ftw
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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