Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
