Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize