fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
