If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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