where am i from again
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
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just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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