If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
