So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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