YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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