This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
