ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
