Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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