How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
