you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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