I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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