In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
