too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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