did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
