My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
