my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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