hotel room ftw
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
