Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I can't turn off my feet"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize