so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
