I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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