I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
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