Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
