OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
if only i could text you this smell
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
