Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
