Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
