She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dignity is for republicans.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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