Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
