So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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