Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
