so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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