thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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