her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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