Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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